The closest I've ever been to a cruise was reading David Foster Wallace's essay about his own luxury liner experience, "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again." I had two reactions: (1) to laugh uproariously (2) to declare, "Hell no."
I heard a surprising stat on NPR's "Marketplace" this evening: 80 percent of the U.S. population has never been on a cruise. I believe the term they used was "cruise virgins."
In the wake of the Costa Concordia tragedy, I'd wager more people will be signing that abstinence pledge. To be honest, nearly everyone I know who's been on a cruise loves them. They rave about the food and the activities, the ports of call. When I was growing up, I thought it pretty cool to see a picture of my grandparents, complete with formalwear, shaking hands with the captain of their cruise ship. I thought it even cooler that my cousin met an interesting foreign guy on her cruise and became pen pals with him.
But as I got older and discovered what I love about travel, I realized that none of my passions has anything to do with a cruise. Until they put a museum, a Frank Lloyd Wright house and the Ryman Auditorium inside a cruise ship, it will remain a hard sell for me. Then they'd need to get rid of all the other passengers, the casino and the drowning hazard of an oceangoing vessel.
And then I saw this photo.
Hell no.
Georgia Confidential 